Enter…Tain…T…ed

It’s officially “austerity” time since the past few quarters. Corporations across the globe has been cutting down process-costs, production-costs, wastage and most visibly – Compensation packages. Lately Governments, particularly the Indian one, have also  been making a lot of “right” noises about it. Jusifiably so, if I may put forth my personal point of view.

Cut to today’s Times of India & the News Digest pop-up, highlighted in blue ( clever, if intentional ) : Rs. 37 Lakh Tea Bill… The peoples’ representatives who displayed that gargantuan appetite for tea and snacks, vehemently justified the RTI assisted finding. Going by their own admission, expenses on this head, in the previous comparable period was way higher. So, they ARE being austere!

This little piece of information, however, is even tinier than the much cliched tip of an iceberg. If an RTI petitioner tried, she’d probably dig out (the country’s “entertainment” expense, only by the Govt.,) numbers that will put the tea & coffee board performances to shame! Even a very modest guess ( Puducherry, a minuscule territory expanded to National level) should put the number somewhere around Rs. 100 crores. Now, that’s a humongous quantity of chai, coffee or samosas!

Let’s look at a Bigger Picture now, as the honchos keep on advising us about. What about adding expenses incurred on entertaining “outside” the government offices? At hotels, restaurants, dinner-parties, iftars, seminars, conclaves etc.? Presumably many of those would have had stronger beverages and more exotic finger-food  on the menu, right? How about a few more hundred crores?

But, the Indian Government is ultimately not a classy entertainer at all. Most public servants are not even aware of the lifestyle maintained by corporate bigwigs. A 50K bill for “client-meet” at the regular 5 Star setting is – very acceptable! Interestingly, this reminds me of a conversation I once overheard:

CXO (on speaker-phone) to caller at the other end : Sorry X, tomorrow evening is impossible. There’s this small get together at the Belvedere with one of our overseas partners….

Caller : Shit, let’s do it day-after then. 8 ish? You must try this 50 year old single-malt before the bottle runs dry (chuckles)…

CXO : Hmmm, let me check (pulls up his schedule on the PDA). No pal, we have called A (CFO) & B (CIO) for dinner. Pawan (my son) will be showing off his new Hayabusa to their children, you see…can’t break his heart. It’s, well, official (sighs)….

Caller : C, we guys never have time for ourselves it seems! We are either attending dinners or throwing one. Anyway, will touch base when the next case arrives. My Glasgow chappie has loaded it already…

CXO disconnects, turns back to the senior managers around his table & continues with his monologue on “right-sizing” the organisation…. 

If that paltry 37 lakhs tea bill was bothering you, don’t let it do so!

Billions are spent without a grain of remorse on so called “official entertainment”, while “serious” discussions are held on shutting down inefficient plants, unlocking share-holder values, green-shoots and the potential of the rural-poor. Rejoice, feel entertainted by all means.